Do men change after marriage?


Do men change after marriage? or remain the same? if they change for good then its good but if vice a versa or they don’t change, then its a problem:(

Depends on what you want to change and how you try to bring on that change…But more importantly..how important that change is, to your life together as partners ! It is not that men inherently don’t like change…I don’t even think that this is a gender issue…The problem is always with the definition of what is ‘good ‘?

If your partner is in the relation with some level of commitment..you can use your intelligence, charms or anything else that is a point of interest for the partner. I know i sound corny and manipulative when I say that…but what is the harm in giving your partner an incentive to change…

Sometimes people change after marriage without the realization that they have changed…Some like that realization…some don’t realize and some remain uncomfortable with that realization..

We all change through the process of growing older…The world around us changes..Our partners change us too…The question is – Is this a proactive change or a defensive change?

If you think your partner needs to change, ask yourself these questions!

  • Do I & my partner agree on what’s important in our shared life? Is the order of priorities and the impact that we expect similar?
  • What is this ‘change’ that I expect from my partner ? Write it down in clear words.
  • What does this ‘change’ require my partner to do ? How will I know that my partner has changed?
  • Why should my partner change ? What are the positives of this change? And what are the negatives of ‘changing’ & also of ‘not changing’ ?
  • How do you think you can support your partner to encourage them to change? What are the things you will do to help your partner change?
  • Does this change really matter ? How will it affect you if your partner is unable to change?
  • Your partner may have an inability to change or an unwillingness to change..What do you think is the issue – An ability issue or an attitude issue?

If it is an ability issue – Can you help him/her gain the required skills need to change?

If it is an attitude issue – Can you help alter the partner’s priorities ? What are the incentives that your partner has to continue their current behavior? Can you affect those incentives? Can you provide another incentive that is more important to or more desired by your partner?

Some people like to change because their partner wants the change…some like to change because the change is perceived as needed by themselves.

Marriage is about a commitment to do what is required to maintain the beauty and balance of your relationship …If you can discuss and prioritize on the changes needed, you can achieve a lot of results…

Advertisements

~ by exploreamaze on January 14, 2007.

One Response to “Do men change after marriage?”

  1. Hi deepak, i didnt know that u blog too…. good one. u included my confused questions too… that idea of incentive seems to be good, will try that. i liked that blog” four years ago” thats so romantic and senti too…. jas like a perfect emotional love story.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: