On mumbailand and punekhand

My friend Kunal noted ” lets ask for mumbailand and punekhand….we might get it!!! ”

Here’s the mail that easily came to my fingers, didnt have to stress the cells in my brain for this..impromptu and direct!

“Nah.. You wont get enough people to join you beyond the first candlelight march ( Covered by YuNDeeTeeVee) and first official debate( covered by SeeNN-IBeeN)..Plus YumENYes and Screw-A-Sena people will break your back and ensure you wont be available to ask for it – Then SeeNN-IBeeN will ‘break news’ about the attack , followed by an attack on their office for hurting ‘ Marathi Asmita’ .. Finally, Vidarbha and Baramati will complain about Mumbai and Pune being given special status and the neglect of rural population and such other things..A vote will be called and 3 people will turn out for voting in Mumbai because the others would be off to Panchgani and Goa to enjoy the long weekend. In Pune, Puneri Paatya society will run a campaign for Punekhand and confuse most people , who will not know where and how to vote( after all the puneri paatya constraints are met )..

Mrs De will write an article on urban apathy & some Bawa from Dadar & a Makapao from Colaba will complain about the ever falling levels of cosmopolitan spirit in mumbai. Mr.Anil will buy yet another jet for Tina so they could escape if the situation in Mumbai worsens while complaining about a corporate conspiracy by his elder brother to deprive him on his share of the pie.The staff for that Jet will come from some unknown village in UPee/BHere and they will find ample joy in living out of tin sheds in Andheri and Colaba ,ofcourse inaugurated by the honorable Mr.Azmi and our humpty dumpty man from Delhi arriving in his fancy German vehicle. Safe and Bebo will appear on yet another ‘Urban Leadership Summit’ held at Lavasa to talk about the challenges of Urban India and how it affects their romance. Mr.Paa will inaugurate the newly constructed plastic(floating) statue of Shivaji in the middle of the sea and all the newly acquired patrol boats will start getting used to ferry devotees and tourists to the Shivaji Island.

‘Jai Shivaji’ mitra mandal with Mr.Azmi as its president will open its office on a boat and gently trigger the watery growth of Mumbai by introducing a new concept of ‘Floating Slums’. Mr.Azmi will pioneer it as a means of ensuring that the ever-growing population of UPee and BHere is gently accomodated in the realms of the Bambai city..Anyways, if the YeSPee cant win UPee because of her Maya, why not build a secondary Slumdog state here in Mumbai, where YeSPee can win!Ms.Banerjee will announce a series of ‘ Jal Express’trains with waterbeds to service travellers to floating slums from all corners of India. YesPee politicians will actively encourage the concept of ‘Floating Slum with the ‘ Yes, Pee into the water’ campaign to Save water consumption in Mumbai.

Around It The Roy will write yet another 35 page essay in the ‘Elsewhere-look’magazine on the capitalist intentions of Indian Government and actively accuse Mumbaikars of intolerance..However, She and her sister in arms Mrs.Patkar will run a joint campaign on ensuring a just and equitable rehabilitation of the ‘Floating Slums’ with adequate compensation…As the ‘ Water-loo Slumdog Millionaires’ campaign will start and get coverage from CNN and BBC, the floating slum concept will find new implementations in Boston, New York and Rio. Mr.Azmi will get called to Faarward Business School & World Economic Networking Forum for a keynote address at a seminar on ” Sustainable and Creative Ideas for Urban Rehabilitation “..

South Mumbaikars and Bandraites will launch a Website for ” Mumbailand and Punekhand ” inaugurated by our very own Mr.Bose. Ms.Sawant will announce a reality show promising ( yet again) to marry any minister who ensures that Mumbailand and Punekhand are made. As 200 episodes of the ” Big Minister” show get completed, the first anniversary of the ‘Popular Demand for Mumbailand and Punekhand’ arrives. Mumbai Chamber of Commerce announces a mega-seminar(followed by dinner and cocktails at ) on ” Urban Renewal” with delegate fees set to 5000 Rupees and keynote speakers and delegates include ‘Prince of Azamgarh’, ‘Fashionista Mafatlal’, ‘Activist Roy’ & Richard Gere!

YuNDeeTeeVee & SeeNN-IBeeN will run a Web & SMS campaign asking for votes on ” What should we name Mumbailand and Punekhand ? ” – Mr.Small T Big R will announce that his party members will take strict action against those who still continue to use the word ” Land” ahead of the marathi word ‘Mumbai’. Chimes of India will write yet another Editorial on ” Journalistic Freedom and Multicultural Ethos of India”. Everyone will attend a ” Clean the Floating S**t’ campaign on the first anniversary of the demand followed by a dinner at the Taj. And our man from town will serve the dinners and catch the midnight local to Kasara”


~ by exploreamaze on December 11, 2009.

One Response to “On mumbailand and punekhand”

  1. It is the educated and rich scoundrel who has let down the democracy and the society.There is no dearth of honest and educated people in this country .But the apathy of this class has cost the country dear.Wake them up That is the only way out for the maladies of the nation,

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